The Other Village's Idiots
by Hiilumaru
Summary: Clutterfuck and her friends meet five ponies from another neighborhood when they come to see what the little outset neighborhood is like. The outsiders, who call themselves the Gold Shoe gang, decide to take the Cuttercrew's turf out from under them, but they're not getting it without a fight.


_"KNOCK KNOCK, MOTHERFUCKERS."_  
Clutterfuck threw the trapdoor open, startling the four young ponies gathered around the poorly painted table with her loud voice. She slammed the door behind her and kicked the lock shut, then plopped down on her rump at the table and said "So, what bullshittery are we gonna do today?"  
"We decided that since today's too warm to hang out inside and it's a little breezy, we were gonna go on a picnic." A green pegasus filly said. She pulled out a basket from under the table and flipped up the top, revealing some food and several pieces from mismatched plastic tea sets.  
"Good. I was worried we'd never get out of Lava town, Equestria." Clutterfuck said, wiping the sweat from her brow.

The five of them climbed down the sliding ladder from the treehouse. Normally, their presence made the neighborhood watch nervous – led by Clutterfuck, the oldest of the small herd, they usually spent their days causing mayhem and shenanigans. This time, they walked in a single file line out of the Whitetail woods carrying a picnic basket instead of helmets or roller skates or other objects of pure chaos.  
"We should go eat under the bridge where it's shady." Magic Moon said. They walked between some houses into the strangely laid-out neighborhood where the five of them lived, mostly trying to take the path of least resistance instead of having to navigate the tall grass of the field just outside the outskirts of Ponyville.

At the front of the group was Clutterfuck, of course, An extremely pale blue unicorn filly with a pink and lavender straight mane and vaguely pinkish-golden eyes. She also had an unusual smile, more resembling that of a cat than a pony. Despite her 'girly' coloration, She walked like she was ready to start a fight wherever she went, and nopony doubted that she would – she was oddly sturdy-looking for a unicorn and had a horn big enough that nopony wanted to see what would happen if she decided to headbutt somepony. To her left was magic Moon, A black-hooved and black-horned white unicorn with a straight purple and black mane and purple eyes. She was much smaller, being one of the youngest, but didn't have trouble keeping up with the rest of the herd. Following them were Holly Drop, A green-on-green ruby-eyed pegasus in a big red sweater, and Whinnie, a pink redhead earth filly with lime green eyes that contrasted with the rest of her coat. Flying slowly above them was Hazy Daze, a sun-bleached orange colt with equally pale yellow mane and blue eyes.

In the summer heat, all the fillies dragged their hooves along the brickwork road while Haze slowly fluttered along above them carrying the basket. They slowly made their way down the main drag of their outset neighborhood to the bridge that crossed the creek dividing the community in two, and once they were in the shade of the bridge, Droplet wriggled out of her sweater and tossed it in the grass with disdain. They set out their blanket and food by the creek's edge, serving the food onto the glittery plastic plates. The five were silent until they had eaten all the cake Whinnie had provided, then they sat under the bridge to discuss.

"I can't believe it's already this hot." Droplet said. She dipped her hooves into the creek and wiped a bit of water on her forehead to cool herself off, but Whinnie was already slowly bobbing on her very hooftips with just her head above the water. Daze looked over at them, away from the rock he had been staring at, and asked "Didn't you all just get out of school, like, three days ago?"  
"Exactly!" Droplet said, falling into the gravelly shallows with a splash. "My mom says we're supposed to have record temperatures for June this year. We had to catch up in time to make the creeks evaporate so stuff wouldn't flood during the rainstorms we're due for on Thursday."

"Shh!" Moon said, raising a hoof. Everyone fell silent, Whinnie and Droplet stepping away from the babbling creek so they could hear better.

They could hear several ponies they had never heard before as the strangers walked across the bridge above their heads. They sounded young, like they were, and would have been uninteresting if Moon hadn't heard one of them mention Clutterfuck.

"So, what did you hear about that unicorn? Clutterfuck, was it?" A colt said.  
"She's supposed to be the leader of a gang like ours. At least, that's what Richie said. He used to live here for a while so I guess he heard of them from a friend after he moved into our neighborhood." A filly said. She sounded big and mean, and the mention of a 'gang' made Clutterfuck's ears perk up.  
"What the hell kinda name is 'Clutterfuck'?" A much bigger sounding colt said with a laugh. "Who the hell would name their foal Clutterfuck?"  
"It's obviously some kinda nickname." Another filly snapped. "What does it matter what her name is? We gotta find her. I wanna know what kind of gang this weird lil' 'hood could turn out."

Clutterfuck waited for them to pass and leaned up on the end of the bridge's guardrail, gesturing for the others to hide under the bridge and listen.  
"Hey, looking for me?" She said loudly.

The five turned around, startled. She instantly realized that they were from another neighborhood, since she had definitely never seen them before. The colt that took the most interest in her, as well as his matching sister, Stepped up to her – He was orange with a weirdly curly reddish grey mane that had varying shades of greyer streaks and Yellow eyes. His much bigger sister was yellow with an orange mane similar in pattern and unusual waviness, as well as greenish eyes. They certainly looked different than what one usually saw in those parts of Ponyville. The colt scowled as he said "Hey, How'd you do that?"  
Clutterfuck pointed to her large horn. "Magic." She said, and the colt scoffed. "Well, you're gonna give ponies heart attacks if you keep doing that. So you're Clutterfuck?"  
"Who the fuck else would I be?"  
The colt made a mildly displeased face, then said "We're from the Sunny Oaks neighborhood. Someone told us this weird little hidden neighborhood had a pretty tough gang, and we honestly didn't think there were even enough foals to even have a gang out here. I'm Sucker Punch – or Socks, as they call me for some reason – and this is my sister, Knock-Em-Dead. She just goes by KED, and that's all capital letters. This is Devil Dust or just Dusty for short, our cousin..." He pointed to a little bright red pegasus filly with a light orange and cream cotton-candy mane, "... And that's Morningbeam, who goes by MB..." He gestured to a yellow-green unicorn filly with grey-blue braids, "...And That's Uppen Attem, who goes by just Attem." he gestured to a Grey-purple unicorn with a black and purple mane and the biggest bags under his eyes she'd ever seen.  
"We're the Gold Shoe Gang," KED said. "You've probably heard of us, we have a pretty big reputation where we're from."  
"...Nope." Clutterfuck said with a shrug. "We don't hear much about foal business outside our loops. Most of us never leave except to go shopping."  
"Forget that!" MB piped up, "What's up with your name?!" Attem elbowed her in the rib, but Clutterfuck said to him "Ah, don't do that. It's a valid question. They call me Clutterfuck because I'm messy and profane. I don't even remember who started it, but it stuck."

"Well, strange names aside, It doesn't look like you have much of a gang here." Attem said, looking around. Clutterfuck looked around and said "I dunno, I wouldn't really call us a gang. We're more of a Conclave, honestly, but who the fuck cares about terms that much. I think they've decided to call it the Cluttercrew anyway. One of us shit that name out because it sounds okay and nopony could think of anything better. Nopony said they weren't here, but am I actually gonna need 'em?"  
Socks opened his moth to say something, but he paused when he noticed how intensely she was staring at him. He smiled and said "Hey, we're not here to start a fight. We just wanted to know what it was like out here since none of us really even knew how many ponies lived here." Clutterfuck relaxed and said "Well, If that's the case, Go look around. This is a pretty nice neighborhood to hang out in as long as you're not gonna start shit."  
"We'll keep that in mind." Socks said, and the group went on their way. Clutterfuck returned to the shadow of the bridge and said "Droplet, did you get a good look at that guy?"  
"I think he's up to something." Whinnie said. "He sounds like my little sister when she's trying to get one of the other foals to give her something."  
"I think so too." Droplet said. "There was something off about him."  
Clutterfuck looked to Daze and said "You and her follow them, make sure they don't make some kind of takeover attempt. If you see anything suspicious, come back here right away so we can figure out what to do next." The pegasi nodded and ran out from under the bridge to take off, then Clutterfuck sat down and said "If they think they can pull one over on us, they've got another thing coming."

~~

Clutterfuck stood in the middle of the bridge when the Gold Shoe Gang tried to cross over to the other side. The rest of her crew were still hiding, Droplet and Daze having jumped over the rails into the creek just before the gold shoes would have seen "Oh, you're still here." Socks said as he stopped in front of her, "Well, we've seen all we need to see. You have a nice little hideaway here... I have a feeling we'll be coming by a lot more often."  
"Cool," Clutterfuck said, "Just try not to poke around our forts next time. We don't keep any important things in them."  
"Wha –" Socks began, then KED stepped up and said "We didn't mess up any of your forts _this_ time. Your sixth sense must be a little dull or something."  
"Well, I can take your word for it, or I can walk the way I usually go to get home and observe the hoofprints that weren't there this morning."  
They all stared at her and she stepped forward, so close to Socks that their noses almost touched. She stared him dead in the eyes and growled "This is _my_ turf. You are in our house, and if you try to kick us out, we will bury you."  
She stepped aside and let them cross the bridge as Socks said "Nopony said we would try to take your territory. We were just paying a visit and might come visit again, that's all."

When they were gone, The rest of the crew came out from under the bridge. Clutterfuck jumped the rail and landed in the sand below, then started walking away as she said "Come on, we have to make sure they didn't do any lasting damage to the forts they visited. I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of them."


End file.
